A Lonely Holiday Heart
by Kissing Irony
Summary: COMPLETE. 'What does she dance for' That is the question that lingers in the mind of Kenshin as he watched Kaoru twirl, bathed in the orange glow of the sunset.
1. Dance at Dusk

A Lonely Holiday Heart

By: Waterflash

Chapter 1: Dance at Dusk

"Kaoru-dono!"

"Yes?"

"Sessha is going into town to buy tofu. Sessha will be back soon, de gozaru!"

"Okay Kenshin. I might not be home when you return, so please start dinner for me." 

"Where are you going Kaoru-dono?"

"That doesn't matter. I'll be back before nightfall." 

I had reluctantly had begun to leave the Kamiya dojo. Kaoru's halfhearted responses had bothered me. She appeared to be very despondent the times that I _had seen her today. Her unfathomable sapphire eyes were forlorn and longing…_

I was startled by the sudden rush of cold as I stepped outside. It had overcome all my senses, and was overwhelming my body. Winter's breath was upon my face, pressing a frosty kiss on my lips. Snow fell from the gray clouds, wind whipping the white flakes through the air.

I took one step forward, my foot resting in the white powder. It had been so long since it had snowed… The last time was so memorable…

*Flashback*

                It was just a normal day where I was preparing dinner when I heard a voice call, "Kenshin! Kenshin, come outside!" I had hastily walked outside to find an ecstatic Kaoru dancing in the snow. Her face reflected that of a playful child. I smiled softly at her, watching the lonely Kaoru I knew disappear. Though I watched her so intently, I still wasn't prepared to get smacked in the head with a snowball. 

                "ORO?!" 

                Kaoru giggled, watching me swipe the snow from my face. "You look so silly like that." I bent down, scooped some snow into my palm and flung at her. She jumped in surprise as she dodged the snowball. "Ha, the Kamiya Kasshin Ryuu, Snowball Spin!" 

                And thus began our snowball fight.

*End of Flashback*

                Through my reminiscing, I had barely realized that I was already at the store. I walked up to the counter and rung a small bell. Immediately, a short old man came up behind me. He spoke kindly. "What can I do for you young man?"

                "Sessha came to buy tofu for Kaoru-dono, de gozaru." I said politely.

                "Ah yes, Miss Kamiya. You would like the usual amount, ne?" He asked.

                "Hai." I said. The old man limped over to a shelf on the wall and began to prepare the tofu. 

                "Are you going to watch Miss Kamiya dance this year? I'm going to take my granddaughters. I know they'll love it."

                "N-nani?" I stammered. The man had an astonished expression on his face.

                "You don't know about Miss Kamiya's dance?!" He exclaimed. I shook my head. What exactly is this old man talking about?

                "It begun five years ago. When Miss Kamiya was only twelve years old, her mother was killed, a week before Christmas to be exact. Young Kaoru always admired her mother and wanted to be just like her." The man coughed before continuing his story.

"Kamiya Midoriko was a beautiful woman that danced for a living. She had even performed in front of the Emperor. Little Kaoru learned over time some of the dances her mother had done, hoping to some day follow in her footsteps." The man inhaled sharply. 

"But after Midoriko died, Miss Kamiya was distraught. For awhile…" He paused. "We thought she would die of grief. Until she finally came out of her room and stepped outside. Surprising everyone, she began to dance. Her mother's most famous dance." I listened closer, amazed at what he was telling me.

"Every year since, she would return to that place that she had first danced. Right outside the largest shrine in Tokyo. Today is that day. Her dance will occur before dusk, when the sun shall reflect off the snow with an orange glow." He chuckled lightly. "If Midoriko was here right now, I know she would be proud of her little girl." He glanced over at me.

"You are… Hitokiri Battousai?" The man asked. I was dumbfounded. "Please, watch over Kaoru. You are the only one who can rid her of her loneliness and sadness during the holidays." He paused in thought for a moment, rubbing his finger under his chin. "How about this? I'll supply you all the things you'll need to throw a party on Christmas Eve. At the Kamiya Dojo." 

"Y-you would really do that? You can't! S-sessha can pay for it!" I stuttered. He grinned knowingly at me.

"But you need the money for a wedding ring." I blushed deeply.

"Sessha is not that sure… of the love sessha feels…"

"When you're around her, your eyes glow, no, emanate with your love for her. This Christmas, at the party… Tell her." I nodded graciously as he handed me the almost forgotten tofu. "You may want to start heading toward the shrine. Her dance will start soon. I have to go pick up my granddaughters, so I'll meet you there." The old man had disappeared almost as quickly as he had appeared.

Swinging the tofu back and forth, I left the store. My steps were quick and rapid. Thoughts raced through my mind as I had gone through everything he had said to me. 

I stopped suddenly, realizing something I had never knew before. "I… I love her…" I dropped down to my knees into the snow and released all those tears I had held back for so long. With a sob, I said, "Both Battousai… and the rurouni _can _love. And… sessha has hurt her. From staying away from her. Sessha… sessha will tell her on Christmas." 

I had wiped the tears from my eyes and stood up tall. I begun to walk a little faster than before, trying to resist the urge to break into a run. I really want to see her dance… 

*Twenty minutes later…*

                I had just barely arrived in time to the large shrine. I figured to wait with the large crowd forming before the stairway to the shrine. I had pushed my way into the group people, trying to find a place to stand where I could see, yet not be seen.

                I could hear calls of "It's glowing orange! Kamiya Kaoru is coming!" Everyone's attention was directed at a woman walking down the stairway of the shrine. It was Kaoru.

                Kaoru was dressed in a gorgeous white silk kimono that flowed behind her. Her silky hair was down on shoulders, the wind sweeping it up in the air. The way she walked, the way she looked, and everything about her made her a deity to me. She was a divine goddess in the purest form.

                When she had reached the platform, she began to dance. I watched in amazement as she moved with such angelic grace that it would have brought me to my knees if the people in the crowd surrounding me weren't holding me up. 

                Swiftly and unexpectedly, she drew a bokken from the back of the kimono and twirled it. She tossed it in the air, spinning and jumping in the air to catch it in the opposite hand. Landing on her right foot, she twisted around before doing a back flip. Abruptly, she stopped, gazing at her audience before bowing. 

                With that moment, I could see Kaoru's eyes and it hurt me… Because I could see how lonely she was. She left, her bokken in hand. 

Apprehending that she had left meant that I needed to get back to the Kamiya dojo before she did. But before leaving, the old man I had met at the shop earlier grasped my shoulder and whispered "At my home on the river Christmas Eve." I nodded, running toward my home.

Home… 

Whew, there's the first chapter for ya! I'm gonna put the disclaimer only in this one because I'm too lazy to do it in the next one.

Disclaimer: Me no own any of the RK peoples in this fic. NONE. I just borrowed them for a little while. I'll give them back at the end.

And this fic is dedicated to my friend B-chan! I loved Misunderstanding! It was sooooo good! Hopefully you'll love yours too! 

MERRY CHRISTMAS B-CHAN! *makes it snow* It snows too much here… You can borrow some of ours…


	2. First Kiss Under the Mistletoe

A Lonely Holiday Heart

By: Waterflash

Chapter 2: First Kiss Under the Mistletoe

                I've noticed a change in Kenshin over the past few days. Ever since the day I had danced at the shrine, he's seemed to be lost in a reverie. I don't understand why though…

Today, he had been very busy. He left before I had woken up. I asked Sanosuke where he was, but he just told me that Kenshin had gone to river for something. It made me a bit suspicious, but I didn't bother with it anymore.

Yahiko had disappeared along with Sanosuke after that. I didn't like being alone… It was Christmas Eve and they all left! Every Christmas was so silent… There was no warmth that I had felt since my mother and father had died…

My feelings of a Christmas without Kenshin brought me to tears that I thought I had run out of. As I felt something dripping down my cheek, I jumped. It startled me. I traced the path of the tear and the contours of my face and then standing up quickly, rushed out of the shoji door in my room.

My mind had wandered back to Kenshin once more… I couldn't seem to get the sweet, caring, and handsome rurouni out of my head! That's when I got an idea. I could make Christmas cookies! A grin made its way onto my face. 

"They'll be so good! Kenshin will love them!" I squealed …WAIT! Hold on ONE second! I'm doing this for everyone. Not my Kenshin! _My _Kenshin? Did I just call him that? I could just imagine my face. "Good thing no one is here…"

I went into the kitchen and lifted up a floorboard. Underneath, I fished around for a small green box. "Here we go!" I opened the box to find recipe cards that my mother had made. Skimming through the recipes, I finally found it. "Sugar cookies! All the ingredients are basic so we have them here!"

I read it out loud, making sure of what I had to get. "2 ¾ cups of flour, 1 teaspoon of baking powder, ½ teaspoon of salt, ¾ cups of butter, 1 cup of sugar, 1 teaspoon of vanilla, and 2 eggs. And the milk glaze… ½ cup confectioners sugar, add hot milk, and ¼ tablespoon vanilla." Grabbing all those ingredients, I placed them gently on the table.

"And then I'll need two bowls and a whisk." I said, while pulling out two large white bowls and a metal whisk.

"Okay. Let's see… Cream together the ¾ cup of butter, 1 cup of sugar, 1 teaspoon vanilla, and 2 eggs." Throwing everything in the bowl with a whisk in hand, I began to mix it wildly. I didn't even pay attention that I was biting my tongue that might have been hanging out of my mouth but I couldn't be sure. 

After doing that for about ten minutes, I stopped and looked at the recipe. "Mix together with 2 ¾ cups of flour, 1 teaspoon baking powder, and ½ teaspoon salt."  I took the now creamy mixture and poured in the flour, baking powder, and ½ teaspoon in it.

I began to mix it just as I had before, but I found it harder this time because it was turning into… "Mush! Am I doing this right?" I questioned myself. After awhile, it didn't seem to look like mush. My face split into a smile.

"Now I have to chill the dough for one hour." I wrapped the dough with plastic and placed it in a shadowy corner with ice on it. (AN: Oh, like I know what they used for a fridge…)

*One hour later…*

                After an hour of waiting and borrowed patience, I ran over to the dough and unwrapped it. "Roll on flowered surface and cut into shapes." I bit my bottom lip. "I don't have a rolling pin…" I searched around the room and something stuck out in the corner of my eye.

                "MY BOKKEN!" I shouted. It was a brilliant idea! I could use my bokken to roll out the dough! I sprinkled flour all over the table and set the dough on it. Pressing the bokken on it, I moved it back and forth, flattening the dough. I used a knife to cut out shapes. A few of a Christmas tree, a few of holly, a few of a wreath, and one of a heart.

                "Now I'll put it above the fire…" I took the cut pieces and placed them on a greased pan and placed them above the fire.

                I waited…

                And waited…

                And waited…

                And when I saw flames,

                "Oh… shit…"

                I ran over and fanned the smoke, and grabbed the handle of the pan. Or…what I thought was the handle. "ITAI!!!!!" I screamed, flinging the pan in the air, scattering all the cookies in the air. 

"Oh no!" I jumped, catching two charred cookies and one that appeared to be perfectly fine. I smiled because it was the heart cookie I had wanted to give to Kenshin.

Taking that heart cookie and completely ignoring the charred pieces of cookies and a pan out in the yard, I made the milk glaze. (AN: See above, because I'm too damn lazy to explain everything now. This is hard work! x.x) I used a small brush to cover the cookie in it.

"Now… for some frosting and sprinkles." I took out some red frosting and began to decorate. I traced the outline of the cookie and almost unconsciously wrote one word, or in other words, a name. 

K… E… N…. S… H… I… N…

I grinned at my masterpiece. I held it in my palm, staring at it. 

                It brought back a question that I had asked myself many times. "Do I really… Love him so?" I whispered. "Everything about him… I love _my _Kenshin. And I'll tell him. Tonight."

                The sudden noise of the gate opening and shutting shook me from my thoughts. "That must be Kenshin!" I rushed outside to greet the rurouni who seemed to have regained all of his pleasantness. 

                "Kaoru-dono, would you like to go for a walk by the river with sessha?" He asked. I blushed inwardly and smiled. 

                I nodded. "Just let me get something first." Once out of his sight, I pranced happily to the kitchen to retrieve the cookie I had made for him. Along the way, I sang repeatedly, "Kenshin wants to walk with me." Before I took the cookie, I jumped happily. And then I realized something. "Agh! I probably look like a mess! I brushed off my kimono and my face. 

I walked outside to meet Kenshin again that was turned the other way. I seemed to be signaling to… Yahiko and Sanosuke?! Oh whatever… I would worry about it if I weren't about to go on a walk with Kenshin! 

 Kenshin opened the gate and led me out. How kind of him…He's so polite… And handsome… And s… AH! Mind wandering! I glanced over at Kenshin who seemed to be unusually happy today, considering that the past few days it looked like he was in a trance. 

Kenshin turned to face me and stared oddly. It took me a moment to realize that I was staring at him! Ahhhhhh! My cheeks turned a bright shade of red and I looked down at my feet. 

"Kaoru-dono… Sessha wanted to speak to you." Kenshin said.

"Y-yes?" I stuttered, trying to hide my fear that he was going to say something bad.

"Sessha watched you dance." He said. 

"You… saw me?" I asked. Unknown to him, I felt like I was going to break down and cry.

"Yes. And I thought you were beautiful… Kaoru." I cupped my hand over my mouth and gasped. He had called me Kaoru, not Kaoru-dono. And he didn't say sessha! HE THOUGHT I WAS BEAUTIFUL! Inside I was rejoicing, but on the outside, I just smiled, blushed, and gave a weak "Domo arigato."

"Kaoru… You don't need to be lonely. You have your friends… And me…" Kenshin said. Tears welled up in my eyes as he spoke. "No tears now. You're supposed to be happy." He brushed his hand over my face, wiping the tears from my eyes. 

"Don't you see? These are tears of joy." I ran up to him, wrapped my arms around him and buried my face into his neck. At first I felt embarrassed that maybe this close contact wasn't right, but I just gave up because it was just so wonderful.

"Look, you have something in your hair." Kenshin ran his hands through my hair, holding out a small piece of a cookie. 

"Oh yes! I almost forgot!" I pulled away from him and handed him the cookie that I had held in my left hand. He smiled, and took it from my palm.

"When did you make this?"

                "While you were gone."

                I watched intently as he began to eat the cookie. I waited impatiently for him to say something. "This tastes wonderful!" I was so happy that I had finally made something RIGHT for once!

                "I think we better be getting back soon." Kenshin said after glancing at the sun.

                "Wait." 

                He turned around to look at me. I shyly gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thank you."

                On the walk back, I held his hand the whole time.

                The dojo was seemingly quiet as we walked in. I was still holding on to Kenshin's hand as if I never wanted to let go. As I slid the shoji door open, a loud yell of "SURPRISE!" scared the daylight out of me. 

                Everyone was there. I mean EVERYONE. Sanosuke, Yahiko, Megumi, Gensai, Ayame, Suzume, Tae, Tsubame, everyone from the Aoiya, Aoshi, Saito, and Tokio! The whole dojo was decorated with everything Christmas-y. I was downright shocked. It was so wonderful.

                "You all… did this?" I asked, trying to breathe normally again.

                "Yup!" Misao chirped happily. "I got the message from Himura two days ago. He got the idea to plan the party because you were so down. I told everyone in the Aoiya and even Aoshi-sama to come!"

                "Sano and me told everyone around Tokyo that we knew." Yahiko piped in.

                "And I got the food, drinks, and all the decorations." Kenshin said.

                "From the Akabeko!" Tae called out.

                I think I was about to cry again. "Thank you everyone… This is going to be the best Christmas ever!"

                "Someone get the sake! Let's get this party started!" Sano shouted. 

                I leaned against the wall, watching everyone have fun. I think I was having enough fun _watching _them. 

                Sanosuke was having a sake drinking contest with Okina. I think Sanosuke was winning because Okina had started to laugh hysterically and suddenly ran off. After a few minutes, he returned, running around in a Santa costume shouting something about reindeer.

                The guys from the Aoiya were doing some karaoke. You could tell that they were drunk. Misao was trying to Aoshi to go up, but he refused politely, asking Misao for more tea.

                Yahiko was flirting with Tsubame, and failing horribly at that. I'll have to remember to bug him about that later…

                Megumi was having fun tormenting Sanosuke. Ah, the ways of a kitsune. Gensai was having some sake while Ayame and Suzume ran around him in circles until he passed out.

                Tokio was helping Misao to try and get Aoshi to do something other than drink tea, while Saito watched for amusement purposes.

                Where was Kenshin? I looked around, but I couldn't find him anywhere. Misao turned around and must have seen me. "Looking for Himura? I think he's outside. He said he would be back in a minute." 

                I wasn't in the mood to wait. So I stepped outside to find Kenshin gazing at the stars. "What are you doing out here?" I went around him. 

                "I always loved watching the stars, ever since I was a child." He smiled. "I want to stay out here a little longer. You should go back inside. It's a bit cold." 

                "Aw, but can't you keep me warm?" I asked lightheartedly. I wasn't prepared for him to wrap his strong arms around me.

                So here I was. On Christmas Eve, locked in the embrace of the one I love most. I was sure that I was the happiest girl ever.

                "Just a little longer…" He said into my hair.

                After awhile, he smiled, turning to go inside. I whimpered in protest but he continued walking anyway. One we made it back in, there was a bit of chaos, but I could ignore it after what just happened.

                It was then I remembered what I was supposed to do. I called out his name. "Kenshin! Come here." He spun around, that cute little expression on his face like always. I felt my hands shake as he came closer.

                "Kenshin, I love you!" Everything became silent because of my sudden declaration of love.

                "Kaoru… I love you too." I didn't know what to say. I was so incredibly happy, ecstatic at the _least._

                "Look up." Kenshin said. I peered above us to see mistletoe.

                He was growing closer and closer, his feather light breaths caressing my face.

He brushed his thumb across my lips and my face. "Beautiful…You're so beautiful… I've loved you for so long…" And then… He kissed me.

                Just the light contact of his lips with mine made my heart sing. His kiss was so chaste, yet I wanted more. I my arms slipped around his neck, his around my waist as our kiss became more passionate. Reluctantly, I pulled away because of the need to breathe.

                "My first kiss… Under the mistletoe…" I whispered, touching my fingers to his lips. 

                "I love you, my Kenshin."

                His name sounds so sweet on my tongue… Like honey…

                Everyone just suddenly started chattering loudly about what had just happened. It was getting chaotic again, so I decided to go into Kenshin's room. I signaled for him to follow me and we shut the door. (AN:  HEY HEY HEY! THIS IS A CHRISTMAS STORY!) 

                We cuddled for about an hour until Kenshin fell asleep. 

                Then a mischievous thought made it's way into my head.

                In the morning I heard a loud "ORO!!" and a crash. I yawned and stretched my arms behind me.

                Yup… Kenshin looks sexy in a Santa costume… 

The End

Whew! So how did everyone like it? I finally finished this thing! Yay! B-chan, I hope you liked it! 

A few side notes: That was ACTUALLY a real sugar cookie recipe. I had to change a few things to make it sound right, but yeah that was a real recipe. If anyone wants it, just email me and I'll send it to you.

I think I screwed some things up… But what do you expect? Half of this fic was written at night in the dark!

By the way, what happened at the end was that Kaoru dressed Kenshin up like Santa Claus and put him on the roof. When he woke up, he fell down the chimney. I hope that makes sense… ^_^;;;

Hopefully that was enough fluff and humor! I really loved writing the scene with the mistletoe and the part outside. ^_^ Okay, I better get this posted soon!

And Merry Christmas from all my split personalities and Kenshin Claus! ^_^

Please review!


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